musings on a zit named frank ...

in 2002 or thereabouts, my chin started to hurt. it was a dull, deep pain that ended up growing into an incredibly large and painful zit. it wasn't an ordinary pimple - there wasn't any whitehead oozing with pus or a blackhead hinting at burrowed dirtiness. there was just this really big, really painful thing squatting on my fucking chin. and, there was no way to hide this growth. no amount of cover up could make this mountain disappear.

did i mention i was about 26 when this happened? it was not like i was approaching puberty, with waves of new hormones crashing through my body. it was like a cruel joke that someone was playing on me. i basically had a second head growing out of my chin. for all i knew it was a dermoid cyst, full of teeth and hair, or a parasitic twin that would be born from below my mouth.

oh, and i was also single at this time, so it was totally 100% awesome trying to meet guys while looking like a confused cousin of rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. while i don't really have a rack to stare at anyway, each prospective male piece of ass would have his eyes wander downward ... right to the large zit on my face.

after a week, the zit was still there, so i decided to embrace it and welcome it into my life. i couldn't really evict it from the real estate that was my face - that would involve really unhygenic self-surgery that could result in scarring. i don't know why i didn't go to a dermatologist and get the thing blasted with cortazone - anyway, all that is besides the point - i ended up naming my zit. i named him frank.

frank hung around for a while back in the early 2000s, and often comes back to visit. sometimes he'll send his cousin, francine, whose smaller and less cystic - either way, they are both usually unwelcome. actually, i can't think of any ideal time for him to post up on my chin ... he's quite a pest, that frank.

so, the latest on sir frank is that he's elected to spend the holidays with me - unannounced, as per usual. it's kind of uncomfortable, rude, and inconvenient. it limits my ability to wear slutastic red lipstick or to draw attention to my otherwise stately chin area. i'm sort of questioning if i should extend the holiday spirit to include blemishes and allow him to stay, or if i should put an end to his casual encounters with my face forever via a bottle of antibiotics. i wonder if i'd have phantom pains once frank is gone ...